I just had to blog this down. I needed to resort out some stuff. I couldn't keep it inside. I just couldn't. I wish i could tell someone but i don't really know who would understand me. I sound pretty emotional right now. Maybe i really am. I'm just lost. If you think its because of Chinese O's. Then you are right.
After studying Chinese for the whole day today, i just started to panic again about Chinese. I'm just nervous. But it's more than just nervous. Failing this would mean I might have to drop to B to save myself. Or take a risk and hope i pass in Nov. If i fail, i won't be able to go JC. That thought keeps lingering in my head. to the point of me breaking down. Like seriously.
I know i shouldn't be thinking of failing. Yeah, actually i shouldn't. I should concentrate on passing, which seems oh so difficult to focus on. Why? Why did i not take an interest in Chinese before? Why? Why only now? and it's already too late.
I'm seriously bummed out about this, and i just wish i could tell someone. But who? I mean, yeah call me emotional but did i just feel a tear roll down my cheeks? yeah i think i just did.
I know i need to work something out. I just cant imagine the sight of me not passing.
I can only concentrate now on working on my paper 1 for the next 9 days and just hope that it pays off. I just want a pass. It cant be that hard can it? I'm sure it isn't. I know i can do it. I know i can. I just gotta work things out carefully right now. And hopefully some motivation might help me. God...i just wish i could talk to someone who could relate to me.
Screw all those negative thoughts. (*slaps self for thinking of failing*) I can pass. I know i can. I CAN. YES I CAN! YES YES YES YES! I just gotta work harder now (not that i haven't already). I gotta focus on what i want to improve the most now. Which is getting my "baozhangbaodao" right. And if there's time, my comprehension.
I KNOW I CAN.
