If only it were that easy...

End of an Era? Maybe...

So i thought i'd post about PW. I mean to be honest, it's probably the best subject of all the subjects we take in the entire course of the Singapore education system. It's the only useful subject that actually teaches you something about street smarts. It's the only subject that allows you to discern completely, those who have the street smarts and those who don't. You can tell the difference between those who study so hard for the paper qualifications but lack the capability and ability to succeed in life because what they learn through pure memorizing and lack of inspiration completely hinders them. You can tell two people who get straight As apart with PW.

But there's always a catch isn't there. There are so many loopholes and lame regulations in the subject itself; the way it's carried out and all. It makes it the stupidest subject yet again. So we have come to the end of it all. I must say it's been an experience, not the best i have to say, but definitely one worth remembering.

To be continued...

Pins and Needles

Even though i know what i'm looking for, she's got a brick wall behind her door. I'd travel time to confess to her, but i'm afraid she'd shoot the messenger. Think again, is the wall really there? I think i've found the flower in the field of weeds, been searching until my hands bleed but does this flower belong to me?

Only time will tell, but someone's gotta take the first step. There are people who say that it's now or never, but i think that that's utter nonsense. But then again, i know nothing about this game i play and she's the referee isn't she?

in-DECISIVE?

i should really make up my mind. But is it really that bad? Hmm, but she really does seem like the one. I mean if the flame is still burning after almost 3 years, it means something right. It could. I hope it does.

This Too Shall Pass

Alright. Promos are over. As much as it may sound ironic, i'm bored. It's kinda weird, because when you're mugging from promos, you think of all the things you want to do after that, but it always comes back to this - being bored, and wanting to do those things but having no idea or energy to do them.

It's really fast how it seems like we've just started JC1 but yet we're already closing in on the last lap for the year. I really wonder how i'll do for the promos. I mean, i've got high hopes. If i could i would do a H3. No doubt. Getting excited for A Divs next year, gotta start training! Can't wait for training to start.

Had a really fun class outing after promos ended. We watched Devil, had lunch at Cafe Cartel, then went to pool and stoned alot.

In other things, thinking of forming another band with like "new directions" haha if you'd like to use glee terminology. I wanna play like more punk and alternative stuff. Bands like Sum 41, Green Day, Ok Go, AC/DC, Red Hot Chili Peppers have influenced me alot and i really wanna play that kind of music. Right now, the current band doesn't like those kind of songs, and it sucks alot to not be able to play the songs that you really love and like the band that you always wanted to play. It's been like my fantasy to play Basket Case, Motivation, Fat Lip, Back In Black stuff. Let's see how it goes, you know JC life gives no room for these kind of things if you want to do well, it's like one or the other. I guess that's why Singapore doesn't produce alot of talent eh...cuz many people see academics as the only way to be successful in Singapore, and with that mentality it will always be that way in reality. It's a catch-22 situation. Oh well.

PW Week, CL A Levels. I guess the fun starts and stops almost easily haha. Anyways excited in some ways to get PW done well.

Anyways really really hope i can take a H3, hope my Econs can get an A. But that remains to be seen...

I guess this is it for now?

When It's Time

I never thought i'd feel this way.

I've been the greatest bitch I've seen

I don't know why i do it, and it's certainly not to make myself look good in front of others. You know, it might, at one point, but it was subconsciously.

I kinda realised it now, and i'm quite sure that if someone didn't tell me about it, i'd have carried on oblivious to the hurt i've been causing. I never thought i'd become like this, and i hate myself now. I can't believe it did all those things. But i did and i want to apologize to all of you.

Sorry Jerald, Joel, Adam, Arvind, Josiah, Shaun, for all the wrongs i've been doing lately. I hope you will forgive me, and after actually witnessing what i've done, if i were you, i don't think i would have forgiven myself. I've been a really bad friend.

Let Me Decide

I think it's about time. The government should stop treating us like brainless immature people. We are mature enough to discern these things ourselves and we can and should be able to decide what we want to see and hear.

http://let-me-decide.tumblr.com/

spread the video!

lean on me brother.

Sometimes in our lives, we all have pain, we all have sorrow.
But if we are wise, we know that there's always tomorrow.
Lean on me,
when you're not strong and I'll be your friend.
I'll help you carry on,
For it won't be long 'til I'm gonna need somebody
to lean on.

You just call on me brother when you need a hand.
We all need somebody to lean on.
I just might have a problem that you'll understand.
We all need somebody to lean on.

If there is a load you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load

(: we are all in this together aren't we? yeah we are.

this time, it'll be different.

well, been a long time already eh?

I figured. Common tests are over, i flunked 2 papers. But i got over that already. And there's always something to learn from it ain't there? I have my target for the year. Still remember the PROCESSES to reach that Goal. Process skils? hahahaha good times.

I'm going to keep my target of this blog. But i'm gonna do what it takes. Discipline.
Committment. Perseverance.

and Zong, if you're reading this in a few weeks time, and things arent going as planned. Remember what you want to achieve yeah? It aint gonna come easy. But the end of the journey will be a good one.

all there is is a feeling.

I keep getting that feeling, it surrounds me more than ever before, is this it?
I should hope not, because i dare not.

the War of My Life

I should not be running
I should not be scared
I will be waiting and well prepared.

I've got a hammer
And a heart of glass
But I Don't know right now
which wall to smash.

If fear hasn't killed me yet
Then nothing will...

I'm in the war of my life
I'm at the core of my life
Got no choice but to fight till it's done
So Fight on, fight on everyone, fight on
I won't give up, I won't run.

Surrender, I will never have the nerve to ask

Even though I know what I'm lookin' for,
She's got a brick wall behind her door.
I'd travel time and confess to her,
But I'm afraid she'd shoot the messenger.

Don't Think Too Much

Sometimes thinking too much can be a little overwhelming. Sometimes, it does more evil than good, and sometimes vice versa.

ECONS, CHEM, PHY, GP, CL, PW, MATH. TEST, TEST, TEST, TEST, TEST.

At times i feel like dropping my 4H2 Combi.

and sometimes, going all the way without much thought can be a good thing. Can it? I should just tell myself, it ain't any different on the other side. Is it?

Scattered.

It’s been a really long time. Things have changed. Even I have. There are days i don’t know what my goal is, looking forward to the end of the day isn’t exactly a good one. Sure i have set goals, but i can’t seem to believe that i have continue at this pace for 2 years.

Friends. I think i’m trying to take too much at one time. I never really realised it, but certain friendships have grown stronger, and others remain stagnant.

Things have changed. Like the wind just blew all the leaves away, scattered, confused and just apart.

Silence Me

I don't know why it's happening, but i've been getting quite frustrated trying to organize a class gathering on tuesday. I don't know if its because of the sucky replies (which i cant really blame anyone cuz its CNY) or the fact that i want to bond with my OG more cuz i been panging them. And i really feel bad. So its like i'm trying to organize 2 gatherings and part of me wants both to happen soon so its making me uptight for no reason. And the fact that the Non SAJC 4sa people can make it doesnt make things better at all. So now it's like a 4sa gathering with no purpose cuz its a SAJC gathering in other sense.

Ok so i just wanted to get that out of my system.

A New Beginning!

Alright, so I'm in SAJC. In the end I didn't put VJC as 1st choice, there are implications, good and bad so i'll settle with SAJC. Love the culture over here. It's quite awesome. Love my OG!! Haha everyone there is super ON! Gotta hang out more with them! MUST BOND :D haha.

So orientation's over. Had problems deciding my CCA. Well i think i still do. But i wanna commit to playing hockey! haha gotta get that Team SAJC t shirt! LOL. Anyways hope to make the team this year! And higher expectations after that!

Me Russ Jk Jerald and Bart and Wei Li and Bob posted to same CG. Taking 4H2 BCME. It's already 2nd day of lectures and i'm starting to feel lost! I guess this is where reading up and good time management come in.

MSAs already coming up around the corner! Gotta revise Amaths topics for Math. DIE.
Just read Econs notes. haha It's interesting and stuff but i think i'm handling J1 in very bad mentality. I gotta loosen up a bit. I worry so much on falling behind my peers that its not doing me and good at all. Gotta stop doing that.

Anyways more updates soon! Miss all the babes that are not in SAJC. :'( Hope everyone can meet up on Friday!

We Will Always Be That Band of Brothers

Just wanna post some stuff, before results are released tomorrow. Feeling really nostalgic/emo/sad/happy. Just an array of emotions. You could say I'm overwhelmed even before the results are out. You could say that its because of well, how lucky i am to have been with the company of such great friends. In fact great would be an insult, an understatement and would do no justification to just how much they've made a difference to my life.

There's so much that's left unsaid, and i really think i gotta say them soon, Stuff of thanks, appreciation and just assurance and just personal stuff you know. haha. I mean i never felt this way about such friends, you guys are like brothers to me.

The fact that we may not be in the same class, or even the same school makes me sad. The fact that a possiblity exists that we may fall out over the next few year just encases me in a feeling of...i dont know how to describe man. DIE.

How time flies so fast... I wanna just note to myself tomorrow, that whatever happens (because i'm getting this feeling that i might not reach my goal) tomorrow, I will quickly get over it and move on with life, results aren't everything and besides, i have all of you guys.

Haha i have a sudden interest in taking Journalism in Mass Communication in Ngee Ann. Lol. It's something i can actually see myself doing. Haha but my parents want me to go JC.

Anyways you should be hearing from me soon. In my next post most probably later today. Just wanted to end off with a song that holds a lot of meaning with me.



Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learnt in time

It's something unpredictable, but in the end its right
i hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind,
hang it on a shelf of good health and good time
Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial,
for what it's worth, it was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable, but in the end its right
i hope you had the time of your life.

Remember how i said i havent though of a resolution for the new year? Well here it is.

-I hope we will remain close friends forever. If not Best.
-Stay foccused in JC and pass A Lvl Chinese. :D

We Band of brothers forever. <3

Can't Stop

Ok, this is long overdue heh. 2010 is already here. i still find it hard to come to grips with the fact that in a week, we will all found out how we did for the O's. I haven't really made any new year's resolutions. I will probably make them soon haha.

Just had a bbq yesterday. Then went futsal after that at about 11. and cycled into the night with Yau, Adam, Mervin, Solo, Bart and Clayton. Cycled from my house to mcdonald's then we cycled from there to changi village and back home. Covered almost 30+km and cycled for almost 7 hours. Ass still hurts.

The holidays are soon ending... i think its safe to say, JC will start late Jan, early Feb so still got some time to think about things and sort random stuff that's been hanging for a long time. Anyways, Arvind keeps disturbing me in a way...lol about results and all. Getting more nervous and my drifts and thoughts enter my head. Dreaming of things that make my mind go crazy, small things like: "what would happen after this?" "what if i don't get 6pts" "if i do, what now?" "if i don't what then?" "what about all my friends?". The list is endless.

Someone take my hand and show me the way.

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
We've known each other since we were nine or ten
Together we've climbed hills and trees
Learned of love and ABC's
Skinned our hearts and skinned our knees

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die

When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there

We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the sun
But the joy and the fun, would it be forever gone?

lol i added in the last line. seems just about right.

Your Thoughts Have Taken Their Toll

Being bored does have its negative side effects. Random thoughts begin to enter your mind. Could they be for a good reason? This came at a totally random time, while i was just browsing the web and chatting.

Random Thought 1: What Happens if i go to VJC
Ok this would possibly happen if i do get 6points - bonus points. It would be like jumping of the top of a building and hoping that there would be a net at the bottom. Or so it seems to me. Everyone's been telling me to go to a better JC if i can do it. Well, let's just say i do get 6 - bonus points. VJ would be a fresh start. It definitely would be. After all, it has the CCA i want to join badly - floorball. The college life there seems pretty decent too, and its near my house which cuts travelling time to 10mins. 10MINS! I really want to go there. But there's something very strong stopping me from doing that. After 2 very memorable years in sec3 and sec4, I can't bear to be split up from all my friends i've made these 2 years.Unless of course they do well and join me (i doubt they would join la). As i think of this, i can't help but let my mind wander into the future, like in the next 5 years or so. Would my circle of friends remain tight as ever with the people i hold close now? Would they remain my best friends as they are now? Anything can happen, on my part and theirs. I just can't bear to take that risk and let time do ther rest. It scares the living shit out of me.

Random Thought 2 (although not so random anymore): What will happen if i go to SAJC?
Well firstly, i want to join a sport which SAJC cleary doesnt have anything i would possible join. And i don't count ODAC as a sport. And i don't think i want to play Goalie for soccer? Save myself from further embarrasment endured this year. Furthermore, so many people been telling me not to go SAJC and some of them are from SAJC. They really meant it, like if they had a better score they would have gone elsewhere. I can't say for sure now that if its true. Maybe it isnt that bad, but i'm sure there's a big difference in the environment in SAJC and VJC. Something tells me it would make a big difference if i chose one for the other. All i know is that i will definitlely be with all my friends there. and plus the uniform is like coooool... But who knows what may happen there? I may make new friends and they may make new friends and stuff.

Something tells me that if i do have to make this decision, i would tear myself apart doing so.
Maybe its best that i don't get 6 points and save myself all the trouble of deciding between the two. It would definitely make life much more easier for me right.

After seeing my older bro being commissioned as an officer, i am inspired to become an officer too. But i guess that would all lie in how i handle future challenges. One of them would be coming very soon wouldn't it.

I really don't know how i'm going to actually decide over this. Suddenly there's a really influencial force that's pulling me towards VJC (even though i quietly ruled out VJ during the past 3 months or so because i felt so deeply attached to the people around me) somehow other things are falling into play and i don't how it's gonna turn out.

I think the following kinda mean something to me now...

"Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away and you feel yourself suffocating?

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul"