Your Thoughts Have Taken Their Toll

Being bored does have its negative side effects. Random thoughts begin to enter your mind. Could they be for a good reason? This came at a totally random time, while i was just browsing the web and chatting.

Random Thought 1: What Happens if i go to VJC
Ok this would possibly happen if i do get 6points - bonus points. It would be like jumping of the top of a building and hoping that there would be a net at the bottom. Or so it seems to me. Everyone's been telling me to go to a better JC if i can do it. Well, let's just say i do get 6 - bonus points. VJ would be a fresh start. It definitely would be. After all, it has the CCA i want to join badly - floorball. The college life there seems pretty decent too, and its near my house which cuts travelling time to 10mins. 10MINS! I really want to go there. But there's something very strong stopping me from doing that. After 2 very memorable years in sec3 and sec4, I can't bear to be split up from all my friends i've made these 2 years.Unless of course they do well and join me (i doubt they would join la). As i think of this, i can't help but let my mind wander into the future, like in the next 5 years or so. Would my circle of friends remain tight as ever with the people i hold close now? Would they remain my best friends as they are now? Anything can happen, on my part and theirs. I just can't bear to take that risk and let time do ther rest. It scares the living shit out of me.

Random Thought 2 (although not so random anymore): What will happen if i go to SAJC?
Well firstly, i want to join a sport which SAJC cleary doesnt have anything i would possible join. And i don't count ODAC as a sport. And i don't think i want to play Goalie for soccer? Save myself from further embarrasment endured this year. Furthermore, so many people been telling me not to go SAJC and some of them are from SAJC. They really meant it, like if they had a better score they would have gone elsewhere. I can't say for sure now that if its true. Maybe it isnt that bad, but i'm sure there's a big difference in the environment in SAJC and VJC. Something tells me it would make a big difference if i chose one for the other. All i know is that i will definitlely be with all my friends there. and plus the uniform is like coooool... But who knows what may happen there? I may make new friends and they may make new friends and stuff.

Something tells me that if i do have to make this decision, i would tear myself apart doing so.
Maybe its best that i don't get 6 points and save myself all the trouble of deciding between the two. It would definitely make life much more easier for me right.

After seeing my older bro being commissioned as an officer, i am inspired to become an officer too. But i guess that would all lie in how i handle future challenges. One of them would be coming very soon wouldn't it.

I really don't know how i'm going to actually decide over this. Suddenly there's a really influencial force that's pulling me towards VJC (even though i quietly ruled out VJ during the past 3 months or so because i felt so deeply attached to the people around me) somehow other things are falling into play and i don't how it's gonna turn out.

I think the following kinda mean something to me now...

"Do you know what's worth fighting for?
When it's not worth dying for?
Does it take your breath away and you feel yourself suffocating?

When you're at the end of the road
And you lost all sense of control
And your thoughts have taken their toll
When your mind breaks the spirit of your soul"

Cherish those memories and may they last forever

I'm having a really weird pain in my stomach area. It hurts and I can't sleep. So i'm on my bed stoning, with my laptop.

Was really really bored, so went to read the older posts from my blog and Adam's blog. It's kinda funny when you look back. You get that very nostalgic feeling. A bitter sweet and warm feeling or sensation. When you look back at the past, memories and stuff. All the stupid things you have done.

When i was reading the posts, looking back at how we came to slowly prepare ourselves for the O's, i truly miss those times where we studied together, played soccer together after studying, procrastinating together. Haha. Having lunch together in the middle of studying. I remember those Chem lessons on Saturday very clearly. After chem lesson, we would have lunch chit chat about O's and random stuff, then we'd go back to school to study/slack and stuff haha. I remeber those times where we tried to convince each other to go jam after studying. All those times at POMO hahaha. Those were good times. lol.

I remember very vividly a period at the start of the year where i had a falling out with Arvind, looking back at things, haha i can only laugh at myself and the whole irony of the situation. It seems that i have learnt so much from this incident and that things can only be looking up from this day on.

All the quarrels, disagreemets, laughter, enjoyment that all of us had together while studying, i will truly miss. All the friendships that i have forged and strengthened over the course of the year, let's hope they remain tight, if not stronger.

However, there are things that have happened over the year that make me sad. Because i'm trying to fix it now, but its not that easy. A falling out with a group of close friends that i kinda neglected. I'm sorry guys and i hope that you will forgive me. I hope that things can return to normal before its too late and all of us move on.

It's all the little stuff, that we tend to miss out, that we will dearly miss when we part. Getting emotional now is kinda strange, because it seems i'm one of the few who get these weird sensations. Maybe i attach myself too closely to some stuff.

We are nearing the end of a very very fruitful year i must say, and it makes me sad that some of us will part ways. But i hope that wherever we go, we will always cherish those memories that we share and make the last forever.

I'll have to make a promise to myself : Whatever happens next year, I'm not gonna leave you guys behind. I will, to the best of my ability, remain best friends with all of you guys. <3 you guys :D

GAY GAY GAY.

Check!

Came back from Korea last week. Trip wasn't bad...although the food was. The tour brought us to lotsa crappy crappy places to eat. Eyuck!!! Crap. Totally. Went to see lots of historic sights and stuff. The tour guide spoke Chinese. (yeah...just great...) I could understand him only half the time. So i got kinda turned off. Had lots of fun talking to the fellow tour ppl. Haha this tour had lots of children around the same age, so it was really easy to mix around :D. +points. hahaha.
I shall post pictures soon.... soon.

Spent too much money this week. Bought Halo 3: ODST and L4D 2. I'm gonna go job hunting tomorrow :D . Haha but meeting JK for gym and swimming in the morning first.

Still gotta go sign up for guitar lesson! i think i've learnt on my own for too long. haha. Haven't gymed in 2 weeks. Can't wait to get a move on.

So far, nothing much has been happening... went to Sentosa the day i came back from Korea. Got sunburned bad. hahaha. it's like healing now.

Ok...this post is kinda lame. Totally.

Say What You Need To Say

In light of recent events, i think its important that we say what we need to say right now when we have the chance to, remove those grudges, anything u ever wanted to say to someone but didn't because you didn't dare to. I did and i'm not done yet.

Take all of your wasted honor
Every little past frustration
Take all of your so-called problems,
Better put 'em in quotations

Say what you need to say [x8]

Walking like a one man army
Fighting with the shadows in your head
Living out the same old moment
Knowing you'd be better off instead,
If you could only . . .

Say what you need to say [x8]

Have no fear for giving in
Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as the eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Say what you need to say [x24]

Hit Me With Reality

So the O's are finally over. I don't really wanna talk about it cause i don't see a reason why we should haha. It's over. :D now we just wait. Grad Nite was yesterday. JK, Jerald, Adam, Mervin and I performed I'll Be There For You on stage. I thought we played the whole song quite well with only a screw up at the end when we added in another verse. It's my first time perfroming onstage on such a large scale...and i think the experience gained from this is priceless. With merely a few practices after prelims, squeezed into the middle of our studies, i thought all of us did a good job. I never knew that we could pull it off.

I just wanna thank , in no particular order :

Joel - I think the band owes you big time. Thanks for filling in for Russell even though you had no idea how to play bass and you didnt need to help us out at all. You performed the bass to near perfect, it sounded really good and it gave the song its grooove! hahaha. Love you man <3 style="text-align: center;">Jerald on drums, Adam and Jk on keyboards and Mervin on Lead guitar and i was on rhythm and vocals.

The cheekos, lol AKA The almost FuturePlan. haha

and of course, Russell, you will always be an FP. haha. where's MATT?!?!?

There are more pics on Edwin's camera that i'll post soon.

When i came home, walked into my room. sat on my bed. Then i was like ... "the O's are over. Now what?" I guess we focus on the end so much that when it ends, it all seems too surreal. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that soon, we will all part our ways and lead a life of our own. Or will it be the opposite and things remain hardcore solid till the end? Only time will tell.

Today was different. I guess today was the first Saturday i didn't have to go to school for any lessons. Or any tuition. haha. Was defintely a weird feeling. I woke up, picked up my instruments from school and brought them home. Then joined JK, Yau, Russell, Clayton and Josiah to gym for about 2 hrs, then we went to swim for about an hr. Felt pretty good after the whole workout. First workout in how many months. Need more of them haha. After that, had subway with Clayton, Russell and JK. Went home after that, to find solo and merv at my house. Lol then we went to catch the Singapore vs Thailand Match. The match was crap. The crowd was pathetic. They jeered the Singapore team when they made mistakes... and cheered when Thailand scored the 3rd goal.

So tomorrow will be a new day. I need to draw up a list of things to do. Just for fun. So i can max out the holidays. Class chalet is on the 16-18th. Haha can't wait.

Who Says

It's already 2 weeks into the O's. I'm trying to stay positive and hoping that 6pts is still out there for me to grab. Because IT IS! So far most of the papers have been quite manageable. yeah.
So tomorrow is Biology paper, and the last of all my paper 2s. Then next week is Paper 1s and then IMMORTALITY is ours. yeah.

Mindless wanderings.

Element : An element is a substance made up of only 1 type of atom that cannot be chemically broken down into simpler substances.

Atom: An atom is the smallest particle of an element that has the same chemical properties of that element.

Molecule: A molecule is the smallest form of an element or compound that can exist independently.

Compound: A compound is a pure substance that is made up of two or more elements chemically combined in a fixed ratio.

Mixture: A mixture is a substance that contains elements and/or compounds that are not chemically combined together.

Drying Agents: Conc. Sulfuric Acid, Fused Calcium Chloride, Quick Lime (CaO)
*Quick lime used to dry Ammonia.

Soluble gases: Ammonia, HCL, Sulfur dioxide
Insoluble Gases: Carbon dioxide, Carbon monoxide, Nitrogen Gas, Hydrogen Gas, Oxygen (sparingly soluble)

Globalization:
Economic Effects:
Increase in Standards of Living:
1. Countries that are globalizing enjoy increase in standards of living. These countries earn more revenue through foreign investments.
2. Governments in turn use this revenue to improve healthcare, transport, housing and education infrastructure.
3. People living in globalizing countries also have wider choices of consumer goods to choose from due to free trade. the increase in lifestyle choices leads to better quality of life.
(L) Therefore, globaliztion leads to an increase in standards of living as the country's core infrastructure such as healthcare and education will improve.

Increased competition among nations:
1. TNCs seek out new locations to invest in to lower their cost of production.
2. Govts. in turn compete with one another to attract TNCs to invest in their country.
3. the increase in competition among natiosn leads to growth in the economy where infrastructure is more developed.
(L) Therefore, globaliztion has led to an increase in competition among nations where governments have to improve their country's infrastructure to attract theses TNCs, which has leads to growth in the economy.

untitled

i'm in my room and gazing at the ceiling,
and all i get's feeling,
that its closer everyday y'know

It's a sprint to the finish line.

It's the final lap of our 4 year race to the big O's. 38 days left. 38! No more procrastinating, no more slacking, no more day dreaming.

Prelims results are like the worst ever, or at least the most shocking. I really screwed up my chemistry paper. I got 9/30 for the essay question. 9! I was totally expecting a B3 or an A2 at least. I ended up with a B4. Gonna have to refresh on my basics for chem. Read and reread Chem Yeo's notes until they are imprinted in my memory and attempt the ten year series.

Physics was badly done. Although i got one of the higher marks, i thought it could have been much better. Made stupid errors here and there and left out the last page. Niceness. Plan for physics? Well i think my concepts are quite there already so i'm just gonna attempt O' level papers. Then memorize notes 2 weeks before the O's.

Biology was an A2. Not exactly satisfied with the result. I think it's due to the fact that i did the essay parts badly. Didnt really study for certain chapters and those came out. I'm making Bio notes now...just finished. I think i have about 4-5 more chapters to go. Doing them selectively.

English was an A2. I think my paper 1 saved me. I need to work more on my comprehension. I got a 11 or 12 out of 25 for the compre. Summary was surprisingly good this time. Although i think i was lucky. I need to practice more for that. Plan for English? 1 practice paper a week and 1 compo a week. Time for SJJ to have no life.

Combined Humans was an A1. Although i have to redo some notes but i should be fine. Plan for CH? One set of SBQ's a week. Yeah...LWL...you're gonna have no life now.

Amaths and Emaths were a disapointment. Although both were A1s, they werent in the safe 90% range. Never made so many careless errors before. Must cut down on those!

So the plan is simple. 4 weeks for making notes and doing papers, 2 weeks before O's for hardcore memorizing. Hope that works out fine.

I can do it. I will do it. I shall get that 6 points...You're MINE!

Now If I Were That Puppy...

Just Believe.

Alright. Let's set things straight. It's now or never. I can only do this once, and i'm gonna do it right. 7 weeks left to "O" Levels. No more distractions...nothing. It's gonna be crazy, it's gonna be mad, and I cannot be more ready for this than ever.

That being said I need to set certain restrictions from here on. I shall remove the computer, the guitar and limit my computer time to 1hr on weekends and 1/2 hr on weekdays. Need to organize my study schedule and prepare all the necessary stuff for MugFest '09. Let's see...a stack of foolscap, all my prelim past year papers...and coffee? Haha.

I think I shall try and not study at home. I really think my house isn't the most conducive place to study at. But i don't want to study with more than 4 people. I think 2 or 3 people is the best. Anyways I need to find a good location. School sounds cool for now because i can't think of anywhere else which would not be a distraction at the same time.

I can do this. This is my only chance and I'm not gonna blow it. Endure everything for the next 7 weeks. Just 7 weeks left! I can do it! I know I can and I WILL.

p.s. I think i will keep of Facebook seriously this time round. This is the final lap of the 4 year race and I'm not gonna let that get in my way.

I'll Be There For You....

Alright. I'm here now. Where should i start? uhhuh! Prelims just ended. Feeling a little lack of confidence in physics, chem and amath. Physics paper 2 I panicked cause i think i lacked time, so i coudnt think properly then i left the last page out. Chemistry i thought the paper was just weird. Like the way the questions were set. I can't really grade myself for paper1 though. As for Amaths, i think paper 1 i did rather ok but for Paper 2 i'm hoping an A2 perhaps? worst b3.

Anyways results should be out next week latest i think. Gonna take it easy till next Monday. Next Monday will be the beginning of the craziest 5-6 weeks of my life. I think i'm just gonna whack past O lvl papers everyday. I shall try and cram at least 2 if not 3.

I'm afraid that i can't concentrate at home now. If i lock the computer away, i will still walk around and like day dream at home. Zzzz unless i go to school...hmm i think that sounds conducive.

Hmmm what else should i talk about...yeah ok so FuturePlan. is taking part in the Saints Got Talent thing for Grad Nite. but we are facing some kind of a problem. We are missing a bassist. Russell doesnt want to play now for god knows why. Unless WE (that means you, Adam, and Mervin!) can convince him that 2 -4 hrs of practice wont harm his studies at all.

JK, Jerald, Adam, Mervin, Solo, Bart went shopping for Grad Nite outfits yesterday. Spent 6hrs where our legs became freaking jelly. Bought a shirt, a pair of pants and a vest. JK, Jerald and Adam bought the same stuff only different design and brand and Adam didn't buy a vest, and Mervin only bought a pair of pants cuz he thought that vests were gay and is not trying to toy with the idea that it ISNT gay. Yeah.

Oh yes...i almost forgot. haha. Chinese 'O' Level results came out during our prelims 2 weeks ago. I got a C6 which is a pass. Was very relieved to find out that i passed. Although i kinda wanted to retake cuz a C6 definetely won't look good on my report card...admist all the As...AHEM, i thought that my chinese foundation was never strong so it be hard to even maintain a C6 if i don't study, which is what everyone tells me to do, retake and dont study for it, but i think i would fail if i did that. So i think my time is better spent polishing my other subjects.

I realized that alot of people think i want to go VJC in the future but somehow deep inside (yeah...deep) i kinda feel that SAJC sounds better to me. I don't know why. Maybe cuz of the fact that most of us would be going there. But my mum really really wants me to go to VJC saying that a good JC would make alot of difference in the future. Also, i notice that SAJC's standard drop by quite abit. And my neighbour (who's from SAJC) told me i shouldn't go there if i can. She says that alot of the experienced teachers are quitting SAJC and very few teachers are left with at least 5 yrs of experience (this is for GP and civics tutors only, she didn't say about the science stream cuz she's in art). Abit of a dilemma here. But i think i shall focus on getting as low as i can get first without considering anything and leaving everything open.

So the next few weeks will be crazy. I hope i can come up with some kind of mugging plan.

Crazy is the forecast for the next 5 weeks....

f=ma / atq+2(st+ev)+ pp

Prelims have begun! That's a good thing? A Maths paper was today. I thought it was rather easy. Could do every single question. I think i got careless at some parts. So definetely not 100% haha. Left out 1 part qn cause i couldnt figure out how to do it. Then when i realized how, 2 mins left and i was like AHH! So i just stoned till the time was up. :(

Been mugging like a retard. Can't wait for prelims over so i can have some time to relax abit before going into study craze again. Need time to get a new guitar!

Back to prelims again. SS and Physics paper 2 tomorrow. Not so worried for SS. Only physics paper is really worrying me. Haha.

Now if you don't mind i have to get back to memorizing formulas...



no. not physics formulas you dummy...



Social studies source based formulas...


Gotcha there didn't i?


I bet it did. ;)


Admit it.

they say love is patient.

It's been so many months but i still can't feel your hands.
Will time roll by knowing we will always be apart?
Or will time be sane,
and let us meet together again.
For it's the hard times like these,
that you enter my heart.
It's you that keeps me going
in hope that you'll be there at the end.
If love is patient,
you'll be there at the end.

The Storm Approaches

Almost 2 weeks since my previous post. Don't expect a long one here. I realized out of sudden realization (ok, that sounds weird) that i didn't post pics of my birthday on here. I should be doing that soon.

Lots of things have been happening the past few weeks. I shall try and remember them for sake of pinning them down on this blog. Hmm...

Last Saturday Bryan had a chalet and alot of 4SA went. Had BBQ and a few of stayed over played cards and watched stupid movies and wrestled on 4 beds that we joined together in the living room area. Haha.

Been preparing alot for the upcoming English oral exams the past weeks. We had a mock exam today. I think i did quite well. Or at least i like to think that i did. Phy, Bio, Chem SPAs coming up next week. National day is next week. Prelims are in 2 weeks!!

Prelim orals start on Monday! Hope that goes as planned. Trying to rush prelim studying to finish most of the topics briefly in 2 weeks. Then concentrating again on them again after Prelims. I shall try and stop studying by 19 October! Hope i can!

I really can't wait for Friday the 13th in Nov. Chem paper 1 also known as the LAST PAPER. I really wonder how it would feel like at the moment they say "time's up. Put down your pens" haha. Imagine that!

Snap back to the present! Don't drift away! Still alot to study! GO GO GO!

The Clock is Ticking

25 Days left to Prelims. I think i really will not be going online anymore unless i really have to do notes or type stuff out. I think i'll only access facebook at the end of the week for less than an hour. Access the computer only on weekends and on Saturday nights.

I should try and finish the entire physics syllabus by this week. I'm gonna try. Try.

Check out the new NDP song for 2009. It's by Electrico. I think its a healthy change from the old "anthem" like songs. So tell me what you think yeah.

Wake Up The House Is On Fire

It's been bugging me for almost 2 weeks. I just thought posting it would make me feel better. I been feeling quite down lately. I'm doing pretty well hiding it. It's good for them they say. Not good for me. Well maybe cuz i don't have the guts to tell that person. Or maybe i'm just afraid of repercussions. I don't want it to happen again? Well i really am confused on what to do.

I need that quiet place in Cinderella Man at the top of that hill overlooking the city and just screaming my lungs out there and just letting it out.

I just feel like screaming really really loudly into the open air. But there doesn't seem to be a place to do this. I really feel like just letting it all out. It's like a mixture of anger and frustration and sometimes a "am i over reacting" feeling. I think the latter may be quite true. I really really need to talk to someone. Getting harder to concentrate on revision and i just need to get it out. I gotta tell that person...soon. Before it eats me up from inside. Which i think it's already attempting.

Don't worry i ain't turning emo. It's just one of those times...y'know only this been quite long already...sigh.

He Fell Asleep Again...I think

Ok i been doing History notes with Jerald. It's 11.56. His last msg on msn to me was at 11.16. He never said anything and now he's not replying. It happened on Friday because he fell asleep at the table. Now i'm thinking its happening again!

WAKE UP JERALD!

Ahh nvm. I'm off to bed anyway. He's gonna get it tomorrow.

You Gotta Hold On!

"As the sun beats down
On the halfway house
Has my conscience beating
The sound in my ear
The will to persevere
As I reach the break of the day

When you lost all hope and excuses
And the cheapstakes & losers
Nothing's left to cling onto
You got to hold on
Hold on to yourself"

Yep. We are almost halfway there, gotta find the will to perservere and hold on! It's gonna be a tough road ahead!

Just finished the entire Trigonometry chapter in the ten year series. Did about 80% of the 32 questions. Feels good to have accomplished that. Over 2 days. Gonna concentrate on the weaker topics first. To maximize my output. Somehow, when you put things in your mind onto paper, or basically transferring them to another location, i.e. here. Speaking of which, today Matthew asked what i.e. meant and well we weren't too sure either. So i took the liberty of getting it looked up.

Apparently, they all come from latin terms.

• "e.g." Exexpli Gratia - for example
• "etc. Et cetera - and so forth
• "i.e." Id Est - that is
  

So there you go. I never knew they were latin. Haha. And as i was saying, i thought transferring plans from head to somewhere physcal helps play out the whole plan much easier. So here goes:

Stuff to do today:
1. Finish 4.2 Notes.
2. Revise Organic chem
3. Buy stationary and Chem TYS (paper by paper)

I think that's enough for one day. And if there's time, Kinematics - physics.

Well 33 days left. That leaves me with very little time. I hope i have the strength to pull through. I WILL! TAEBANG! Oh and speaking of which, i have 290 WON! I think that's 33cents singapore.

Sing Us The Song of the Century

"They're playing the song of the century
Of panic and promise and prosperity
Tell me a story into that goodnight
Sing us a song for me "

Ok so oral was pretty much screwed. Plastic surgery was the topic. Can you believe that? And i didn't mention MJ. Ahh screw it. It's over, must get over it. Went to blow of steam after oral with Solo, Clayton and Bing at LAN. Played DotA and L4D.

Past few days been quite hectic. Doing lots of maths in class and after school. Just realized a few days ago how close the Prelims is. Closer and closer...running out of time. Gotta mug already.
Already planned out study tables and checklists. Gave Solo a copy cuz he said he wanted one.

Watched the MJ Memorial the other day. Very sad ending. His daughter went up on stage and said something and cried.

So it's gonna be very very crazy the next few weeks. So lesser posts yeah? Lesser facebook, lesser everything.

Bye...for now.